Christian holidays often make me a little uncomfortable. Facebook lights up with biblical verses, inspirational quotes, and personal praise of, in the case of Easter, our risen Savior. I read, appreciate, and sincerely “Like” many of these spiritually themed status updates. It is a beautiful thing to see praise spread across my newsfeed. But I can’t quite bring myself to participate…
In addition to being a Christian – who is, by the way, ardently thankful to the God who died to take away my sin and rose again triumphant over death – I am a writer. Playing with words is my
obsession hobby passion, and I don’t play alone. On the contrary – and she can be quite contrary – I have this incredibly obnoxious Inner Editor who simply never shuts up. She critiques everything I write, from novels to text messages to grocery lists. You can bet she doesn’t leave my Facebook status alone. She looks over my shoulder, ever scrutinizing each word, each letter that goes down, all to ensure I have penned the absolute best that I can pen. Then she sits back and waits, hoping her efforts pay off, fearful that they won’t. (Dirty little writers’ secret: Whatever noble, introverted reasons we give for writing, we ache to know that our words, our stories resonate with others).
So Good Friday passes, and Resurrection Sunday dawns, and I have written very little of either occasion. It seems logical that such causes for celebration would bring an outpouring of words of holy praise from one who loves words so, but I won’t do it. I will not expose my Inner Editor on my holy days. On these days that do not belong at all to her, I will allow her neither to gloat nor to weep. I will not tempt her to glory or to shame. Instead, I will, in the words of Caedmon’s Call, ask my risen Jesus to “walk with me quiet, walk with me slow… Tell me the story where old is made new, the promise of ages, and all things that are true.”
Because for me, today is a day for my Inner Editor and me to stop fighting to find the perfect words, and to be quiet together as we listen to a story truer and greater than any we might tell.