Friday Fictioneers: worldwide community of writers sharing stories inspired by a photo prompt offered by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. To join the reading and writing fun, click on the blue froggy at the bottom of the page.
Rochelle mentioned something about changing the name to “Weekly Fictioneers” or something to accommodate those of us who are either impatient, overly zealous, or chronologically challenged. For what it’s worth, dearest Rochelle, I hope we stick with Friday Fictioneers, as this is about the only event in my life for which I am habitually early.
Anyhow…
This week’s story follows right on the heels of an older vignette, Not What We Had Planned. I will caution readers that these stories, particularly the first, deal with infant mortality. I’ve tried to handle the issue tenderly, but I understand that there are times in our lives when this matter is too close to the heart to read without stirring up a hurricane of emotion. If this is the case for you, know that you have my deepest sympathy.
As always, if you wish to know more of the story, click on Angelique.
Photo by Roger Cohen
(For clarity’s sake, if you haven’t read or have forgotten previous stories, Sara just gave birth to a stillborn son, while her brother, Jason, stood in for her husband, Dan, who was delayed by “bus troubles.” If you don’t know who Angelique is… Well, you’ll just have to click on her name to get to know her.)
Another Kind of Death
“You’re Claire’s new girl.” A woman shimmered into view at the head of the hospital bed, her hand on Sara’s sweaty brow. “Stay and learn about another kind of death.”
Angelique looked with her at the young man frowning at his phone.
“What kind of man misses his, his-”
He held the phone limply in his hand, his eyes fixed helplessly on the screen.
“His baby’s birth,” Sara said. “What kind of man misses his baby’s birth and death? That’s what you mean to say, Jason.”
“He’s a worthless piece-”
“We met in the orchestra, you know,” Sara said softly. “He played so tenderly, I cried the first time I heard him.”
Shaking his head, Jason set his phone on the table and looked at his sister.
“Dan’s been arrested, Sara.”
Lisa Dunn 
oh wow!!!
Thank you, Boomie.
Yes indeed. Very powerful.
Thank you.
Don’t think that’s the kind of death Angelique can do anything about. Love as always, Lisa.
Thank you. No, she can’t do anything about this, especially since she had a hand in making it happen…
arrested! bamm! there it goes! well done.
Thanks!
Nicely done as ever. The reveal that the ‘young man’ was her brother might have come too late for the reader to experience the full impact of the story – I was thinking that it was Sara’s father who was missing for a few moments. But I enjoyed it nevertheless. Good one.
Thank you, Sandra. I’ll see what I can do anything about the brother reveal. For now, I may cheat a little and put a note at the top of the story… 😉
Mention the name Angelique and I am rapt. Another great story.
Aloha,
Doug
I almost didn’t mention the name Angelique in this story because she’s only an observer, but I figured I should make it clear that she’s still in the room and that there is something here for her to learn. Glad you enjoyed!
Dear Lisa,
Well done…again. I have to wonder what Dan was arrested for. But it’s obvious he’s all about himself and not his family. Tragically true to life.
shalom,
Rochelle
And…fear not Lisa,
I’ve no real intentions of changing our group’s name. 😉
Whew! Now my husband can’t say I’m always running late! 🙂
My husband is a lawyer, so I’ll have to talk with him about the sort of criminal activities or allegations that would get Dan locked up in the right place. I’ll give you a clue, though – that bloody knife in Dan’s attache case didn’t help. 😉
Very well written.
Amusing intro – about your reason for fearing the name change.
Hey, it’s all I have in the early department!!!
Very tenderly written. But either I haven’t read, or more likely forgotten, knowing me, your other Angelique stories, so I found it difficult to work out who was who and who they were talking about – but I’m sure that’s me.
It’s not just you. I’ll try to clarify. Sorry about that! Keeping characters and plotlines straight is bit of a challenge when writing a story in weekly installments – and non-chronologically, at that!
Thanks for the comment!
Your stories always have so much emotion and heart packed into a small package. Great job.
Thank you. I enjoyed your story immensely this week.
You always seem to manage a cliffhanger which leaves us excited for the next installment. Ron
Yes, it’s part of my evil plan to get you all to come back! 😉
Oh, my! What an ending. And there are a couple of cliffhangers in this one – the obvious one at the end, but also the significance of the shimmering woman. I like the way you work the prompt photo into the story while keeping your series going, too.
Thank you!
I’m constantly amazed at how you and Bill keep your stories going (and well),through the various pictures. As for the Friday Fictioneers name, it’s just a fictionary name now. 🙂 I love having the prompt on Wednesday, although when I’m doing something like driving most of the day as I was yesterday, it’s an exercise in patience as well as writing in the mind.
I still need to go back and read Bill’s story from the beginning. What I’ve read so far is fascinating.
I look forward to seeing the prompt every Wednesday. For me, driving is prime time to pre-write, which works out well since Wednesdays are my biggest driving day (about 1 1/2 hours in the car).
I’ve written a few myself while driving. Then I keep repeating the story or main lines in my head. It always reminds me of the days of oral storytelling!
I recently read an article about writing what you FEEL instead of what you know. I think that might be the magic of mentally composing and editing a scene prior to writing it. After playing a scene over and over in my head, I get a feel for what each character feels and of the emotion I want to convey to the reader, so when I finally get around to writing it, I have a clearer idea of what everyone needs to say and do.
I guess being arrested would have been a good enough excuse, if it had happened before he was supposed to be at the hospital; as it is I’d say they don’t have long to go as a couple. Nice 🙂
It reminds me of the line from The Princess Bride, “That does put a damper on our relationship.” Dan isn’t having a good day at all.
Amazing how you can get so much action and tension into a dialogue like this.
Wow. You really delivered a punch.
love the suspense..
I admire your storytelling when you don’t know what photograph is coming and you continue the story each week, and you keep it to the 100 words. wow.
Wow,
I nominated you for the Liebster Award
the rules are here
Oh, wow, Mari! Thanks for the nomination! I’ll work on the questions tonight and tomorrow. Enjoyed reading your answers! Thanks again!
You’re welcome. I can’t wait to read your answers.
This was such a sad story.