Friday Fictioneers – The Chill of Death

First of all, if I haven’t said it already… Thank you, Friday Fictioneers, for welcoming me. I’m having a blast reading your stories and receiving your feedback. This is serious fun! For those who aren’t familiar with Friday Fictioneers, check them out here and get in on the excitement.

Second, I realized after the fact that this photo by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is not exactly as I first saw it. The lights are reflected from inside, not shining from outside. The perfectionist in me cringes at this and begs to rewrite the story. The pragmatist says, “Shut up and post what you have.” The pragmatist wins…

Photo Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The Chill of Death

“I couldn’t help it.”

“You must!”

Angelique gulped. “It hurt too much.”

“Next time, don’t wait.” Claire’s voice was soft. “And go to a remote place. Don’t add to their pain.”

Angelique’s last tear fell.

“Honestly, Angelique…” Claire sighed. “The blizzard of the century and you’ve frosted the window on both sides…”

Angelique followed Claire’s gaze. A car stopped before the cabin, its headlights muted by the frosted glass.

“Gabe’s here for you.” Claire sipped her coffee.

Angelique wiped the glass and peered out.

“He drives a Porsche?”

“That’s nothing.” Claire arched a black eyebrow. “You should’ve seen his chariot.”

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23 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – The Chill of Death

    • Thanks, Janet. I’ve been thinking a lot about Faith and Fiction lately – and how to integrate the two in a way that is creative, imaginative, thought-provoking, and fun… and also faithful to what I believe, but not legalistically so.
      An explanation of what I’m fumbling to say might be found here:(https://waitingforaname.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/how-i-ended-up-here/)
      It’s a challenge at times, because I’m sure there are those who would be horrified to see the angel Gabriel in a Porsche, not to mention my sweet little Angelique in existence, coming from the mind of someone who claims the name of Christ. But it’s a work of fiction, not a theology textbook… Anyhow, I’m glad you liked it, and would love to hear any thoughts you have on this subject. I saw on your page that you, too, are a Christian. (Incidentally, I homeschool my children and love photography and dark chocolate, as well! I’m not partial to pit bulls in particular, but I do turn my nose up at dogs without big, broad, heavy heads!) 🙂

  1. I’m afraid I am a bit lost. Angelique is a spirit of some sort, right? Claire is her senior? And I am not sure what Angelique did wrong at the beginning. Maybe it’s just me.

    • Somehow your comment was filtered as spam. Sorry about that…

      Yes, Angelique is some kind of angel of death, ushering people from time into eternity (so not always awful, but often around when horrid things go down). Yes, Claire is her senior. The idea I was working with in this one – which would have been clearer with more space – is that Angelique somehow participates in and absorbs all the grief, sorrow, horror experienced in the dying process (by the dying and those around them) as well as experiencing some of those feelings herself. The standard release of all this emotion is for an angel to weep over the earth… What Angelique did wrong was: a) allow too much emotion to build up and b) release that emotion in a cold, torrent of snow over a respectably populated area. Hence the instructions not to wait and to go someplace remote, so that she does not add to the suffering of humankind by burying them in a blizzard. The window being frosted on both sides was meant to indicate that she still struggles with the overload of emotion associated with her work.

      Hope that helps. Thanks for reading and asking. I enjoy the 100 word challenge, but sometimes it forces out a lot of the story.

  2. Porsche makes an SUV called the Cayenne that would handle just fine in the snow…change “car” to “SUV” and you’re done with that little problem…A fine story.
    Tom

    • Cindy, thank you so much! I’ve struggled to tell the story in 100 word segments. The more I write, the more I can see turning it into a full length novel – after I complete the trilogy I’m currently in the middle of writing. If I ever DO turn these Angelique snippets into a novel, I hope I find an audience as kind as the Friday Fictioneers. You are all so encouraging!

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